Inner healing

This week’s lectures were on inner healing and we had the lovely Christy Scott as our lecturer. Christy is an ordained minister with F.I.R.E. school of ministry and her heart is to see leaders, missionaries, pastors and their families encouraged and equipped through experiencing a deep encounter with Jesus.

We had lectures combined with the DTS (Discipleship Training School) so it was quite hectic and a lot bigger than we are used to. The teaching was really good, and we covered things like how much of our thinking and belief system is formed by the time we are 6 years old by our experiences. We looked at the fall of man (when Adam and Eve sinned) and the effect that has on us today and we also looked at how God works to restore our relationship with Him.

One thing that stood out to me this week was how since the fall and as a result of it, we are all striving for something, seeking something and one of those things is ‘home’. When Adam and Eve were sent out of the garden (for their own protection) they lost their home, they lost that closeness of walking with God in their home and since then man has been striving to find home again. But what God wants to say to us is that He is our home, that we can have that intimacy with Him wherever we are.

This is something that really struck me as for the past 5 years that I have been away from New Zealand I have been thinking about home and what that means. Everywhere I go I can find a part of home there, I can make my room (or bed) as homey as possible but there is still that feeling of I don’t really belong here or I am not completely comfortable in this place. A lot of those feelings can be changed over time as you learn the language, learn how to go shopping, make friends and understand the culture but that is a long process.

Over the past couple of years I have had trouble answering the questions where do you live, the answer is something like this: ‘well... umm... I kind of live in Africa but I am not there at the moment and won’t be there for a few more months, I am currently in Mexico and before that France but home is New Zealand...’ I want to answer that I live in the kingdom of God but that often draws funny looks.

I always thought that New Zealand would always be home but now I don’t really feel at home when I go back. The last few times I have gone ‘home’ to NZ I found that I do not quite fit in there anymore. Many of my friends have moved or they have got married and had kids and as much as the friendships remain my ‘group of friends’ and feeling of home that was with them has changed. But one thing that doesn’t seem to change is the feeling of home within my family.

Now I think that me saying that my home is in the Kingdom of God is not too far from the truth. I want God to be my ‘home’ and I want to take that home with me wherever I go.